Let's be honest : All over the place thoughts

I have a strong love/hate relationship with social medias.

On one hand, it's great to stay in touch with old acquaintance on Facebook and to find out about new amazing people on twitter and Instagram.

On the other hand, I feel like it's all so fake. We are expected to share our lives, but no one really wants to hear of our struggles. And for good reasons, the more you surround yourself with positive, the more you stay positive. Or the other way around with negative. But at the same time, we compare our self to what others people post on social medias and, of course, our lives don't seem as perfect.

The other day I was on my bed, crying, because I can't seem to find a job and it can get hard on the spirit. And then, I took a selfie with a huge smile and posted it on Instagram. What the hell?

I still haven't found a job. No, that's a lie, I kinda have a job. A 10 hours a week freelance, job, thing, or whatever I'm supposed to call it. It's a beginning. And at least it's something to write on my CV, so there won't be as big of a gap in time. But 10 hours a week won't pay the bills.

The first 6 months after I finished university, I couldn't find a job, and I remember being extremely depressed. Like, I-won't-even-leave-the-house-to-go-to-the-grocery-store-that-is-just-one-minute-from-the-door kind of depressed. I eventually kicked myself in the butt and called a friend to hang out, which helped a whole lot. This time around, even if I have my down times, I'm absolutely not that far gone. I'm mentally pretty happy and healthy. And I think I owe it to this blog, or what it gives me to blog. I have something to do and deadlines to do it.

And it is only now I realize how much the whole blogging world has changed me for the better. Not just as a blogger, but also as a reader. It also changed the way I see myself and my body. I'm not the thinnest girls around. But contrarily of what I though in high school, or even just a couple of years ago, that is fine. I used to think I was so incredibly big. And even if I gained weight in the last year, I never felt better and more confident in my body.

I remember, I think it was three years ago, me and some friends went to the beach. And I tried to find the bathing suit that would cover as much of my skin as possible. Now? I don't go the beach a lot (or at all), but I really feel like buying myself a bikini (I've seen some great ones that are really tempting me). And I know that given the opportunity, I would wear it. Because why not? I only have one body and just because I don't wear a 00 pair of jean don't mean my body isn't a great one. So why hide it?

That's a little catchy, but the nicest thing you can wear is confidence.

Did that make any sense? I was just feeling like having a chat. Back when I lived in Quebec City, me and my friends were going out for coffee and a chat all the time. And even if I have some great friends in Montreal, I can't see them as much as I would like to. I chat to my cats all the time, but it's really not the same, is it.

These things were on my mind for a while and just needed to come out. I could have written a lot more, but I would have been rambling.

Please leave a comment telling us something that have been on your mind too, and maybe we could chat about it some more!